Oh, I can't just write books, you say? I need to market myself, do I? Like I'm a hydrogenated snack unit, here to feedertain you? Well, fine, then, I'll quit throwing myself into traffic like a sensible person*, settle down, and waste good novel writing time TO DITHER ON A GODDAMN BLOG.
*Ambiguity intentional
Friday, March 20, 2015
Insomnia hell, part whatever
If I start thinking about how many nights of insomnia I'm going to have to go through before I die, I want to beat my head against a cement wall till I reduce that number to zero.
I can't relate to insomniacs. I love to sleep, and can fall asleep easily. It's the closest I can get to death, and it doesn't hurt. I do live a very simple life though, I think that helps.
I've seen insomnia listed as a risk factor for suicide. I believe it. And by odd coincidence, just a minute or so before I logged into this site, I was thinking about when I was on sleep medication some years ago, before my insurance stopped covering it.
Ah, if only cannabis actually helped me sleep instead of making me see Fibonacci spirals of skulls all shrieking "this is all there is." Horrible stuff.
After 20 years of extreme sleep deprivation by choice I have discovered one place where I cannot escape sleep, a city bus. I have found my adult cradle. The other riders of course mistake me for a heroin addict, but it works.
Thanks Ann for the article on my work. I could not contact you through the publisher so posted this comment and an open letter on my site.
I can relate to lack of sleep leading to depression, I worked night for 10+ years. I was chronically sleep deprived. Really hard time in my life, and I will never take good sleep for granted. I have also has some scary experiences on pot, I tend to think it's is a drug for young people. I had no issue with it as a teenager, but just can't seem to handle it as an adult. I think we just have too much shit on our minds as adults, and it's much more difficult to let go, and give up control. Also eating pot that has been cooked into something is a much easier way to over do it, the worst experience I had was eating some brownies I made, and put WAY too much in.
Codeine + alcohol. It worked for me. The skulls will become sugary and mellow as in the Mexican Day of the Dead :-) Cannabis + alcohol is a good mix too. And makes masturbation more pleasant... Opiates and alcohol mix very well.
I suppose it would be gauche of me to suggest diet and circadian rhythm therapy? I tend to think that wallowing in despair is a luxury of the physically robust. My health problems forced me to give up the booze/tobacco fuelled lifestyle of my youth (never did other drugs except dope, which didn't agree with me), and adopt a daily routine od exercise and paleo/WAPF diet.
I was watching True Detective a while ago and it hit me. It's like the characterological/physiological differences between Schopenhauer/ Nietszche. Same metaphysics, different lebensphilosophies. The Cohle character is ludicrously fit and strong, mentally and physically, in absolute terms but especially for a guy who abuses his body and allows himself no comforts but copious alcohol and cigarettes. If he had my constitution he'd have something to complain about, but he wouldn't just complain, he'd have to do something about it.
The constitutional issues I'm talking about in my case are chronic muscle pain (scoliosis) and neurotic mental illness.
Hey, Annie, this is John Jeremiah Smith, or Cortland, or something -- I can't remember what ID you would be most likely to recognize.
Insomnia, for me, is a sign there was something I should have done or said that I did not do or say. I recently got over a bout of it by recognizing it, figuring out what I failed to do or say, and doing it and saying it. Been sleeping 8 hours for 3 days now.
Your replies are hilarious. Someone gave me this journal (below); no, it doesn't help, but the title is funny as hell:
“I CAN’T SLEEP. A journal for passing the time when insomnia strikes and my brain is circling in on itself, cannibalizing the trivialities of the day and exaggerating the ticking of the clock, reminding me that every minute spent awake is another minute closer to when I’ll have to get up, though many of the great artists and sages were insomniacs and that’s part of how they got so much done, so if I can’t sleep I might as well write and channel my misery into something productive.”
Insomnia and Cushings. There are many symptoms of Cushings but one symptom that seems to really bite me in the butt is Insomnia. For instance its 4:50am and I can’t sleep no matter how many sheep I have counted or how many times I have tried to be lulled to sleep by my husband’s soft snoring. 3d sleep mask is only and easiest Cure for insomnia Buy now from Amazon
I can't relate to insomniacs. I love to sleep, and can fall asleep easily. It's the closest I can get to death, and it doesn't hurt. I do live a very simple life though, I think that helps.
ReplyDeleteOh GOD but I DO love to sleep. Unfortunately, sleep doesn't love me. Doug Stanhope's classic bit The Carnaval comes to mind.
ReplyDeleteI've seen insomnia listed as a risk factor for suicide. I believe it. And by odd coincidence, just a minute or so before I logged into this site, I was thinking about when I was on sleep medication some years ago, before my insurance stopped covering it.
ReplyDeleteOh, if you ever hear of me dying mysteriously, I can guarantee insomnia was somehow involved. Either mine or my murderer's.
Deletecannabis, Ann, cannabis (duh?)
ReplyDelete-nonAnon
Ah, if only cannabis actually helped me sleep instead of making me see Fibonacci spirals of skulls all shrieking "this is all there is." Horrible stuff.
ReplyDeleteAfter 20 years of extreme sleep deprivation by choice I have discovered one place where I cannot escape sleep, a city bus. I have found my adult cradle. The other riders of course mistake me for a heroin addict, but it works.
DeleteThanks Ann for the article on my work. I could not contact you through the publisher so posted this comment and an open letter on my site.
Peace,
James LaFond
Hey James! Good to hear from you. My Taki's email is no longer functional, but you can reach me at asterzingerz@gmail.com.
DeleteI can relate to lack of sleep leading to depression, I worked night for 10+ years. I was chronically sleep deprived. Really hard time in my life, and I will never take good sleep for granted. I have also has some scary experiences on pot, I tend to think it's is a drug for young people. I had no issue with it as a teenager, but just can't seem to handle it as an adult. I think we just have too much shit on our minds as adults, and it's much more difficult to let go, and give up control. Also eating pot that has been cooked into something is a much easier way to over do it, the worst experience I had was eating some brownies I made, and put WAY too much in.
ReplyDeleteCodeine + alcohol. It worked for me. The skulls will become sugary and mellow as in the Mexican Day of the Dead :-) Cannabis + alcohol is a good mix too. And makes masturbation more pleasant... Opiates and alcohol mix very well.
ReplyDeleteThey mix great at first, but psych wards are not a lot of fun.
DeleteThanks for your reply. I tried the mix for a while, but after the first electroshock I left out the codeine :-)
DeleteSleep well and keep on writing!
I suppose it would be gauche of me to suggest diet and circadian rhythm therapy? I tend to think that wallowing in despair is a luxury of the physically robust. My health problems forced me to give up the booze/tobacco fuelled lifestyle of my youth (never did other drugs except dope, which didn't agree with me), and adopt a daily routine od exercise and paleo/WAPF diet.
ReplyDeleteI was watching True Detective a while ago and it hit me. It's like the characterological/physiological differences between Schopenhauer/ Nietszche. Same metaphysics, different lebensphilosophies. The Cohle character is ludicrously fit and strong, mentally and physically, in absolute terms but especially for a guy who abuses his body and allows himself no comforts but copious alcohol and cigarettes. If he had my constitution he'd have something to complain about, but he wouldn't just complain, he'd have to do something about it.
The constitutional issues I'm talking about in my case are chronic muscle pain (scoliosis) and neurotic mental illness.
The best cure is honest work.
ReplyDeleteYou have had some of that lately, have you not?
I dunno, how do you define honest work? I had trouble sleeping without beer when I was a professional dishwasher.
DeleteSterzinger said: "They say if you want people to read your books, you have to have a goddamn blog. So here's my goddamn blog."
ReplyDelete$5 says that it was other writers who told you that.
This will be a novel concept but what about writing something that _readers_ want to read?
Hey, Annie, this is John Jeremiah Smith, or Cortland, or something -- I can't remember what ID you would be most likely to recognize.
ReplyDeleteInsomnia, for me, is a sign there was something I should have done or said that I did not do or say. I recently got over a bout of it by recognizing it, figuring out what I failed to do or say, and doing it and saying it. Been sleeping 8 hours for 3 days now.
Love your show, babe. Ethics is everything.
Your replies are hilarious. Someone gave me this journal (below); no, it doesn't help, but the title is funny as hell:
ReplyDelete“I CAN’T SLEEP. A journal for passing the time when insomnia strikes and my brain is circling in on itself, cannibalizing the trivialities of the day and exaggerating the ticking of the clock, reminding me that every minute spent awake is another minute closer to when I’ll have to get up, though many of the great artists and sages were insomniacs and that’s part of how they got so much done, so if I can’t sleep I might as well write and channel my misery into something productive.”
Insomnia and Cushings. There are many symptoms of Cushings but one symptom that seems to really bite me in the butt is Insomnia. For instance its 4:50am and I can’t sleep no matter how many sheep I have counted or how many times I have tried to be lulled to sleep by my husband’s soft snoring.
ReplyDelete3d sleep mask is only and easiest Cure for insomnia Buy now from Amazon
I enjoyed reading this article. PLease continue publishing helpful topics like this. Regards, Fuelled Lifestyle
ReplyDelete