Oh, I can't just write books, you say? I need to market myself, do I? Like I'm a hydrogenated snack unit, here to feedertain you? Well, fine, then, I'll quit throwing myself into traffic like a sensible person*, settle down, and waste good novel writing time TO DITHER ON A GODDAMN BLOG.
Oh god, the tiresome rants about power relations between
males and females. There must be millions at this point.
Now we’re probably going on a million about the dynamics
between alpha and beta males as well. But what about alpha females and beta
Alpha females: You know, the kind that scream at rallies, dominate
all meetings, berate their male partners endlessly, and though they’re
chest-puffingly feminist they secretly want to be mothers so they can have a
But their main victims are beta females. Every alpha female
has a mousy friend to push around, and then there’s her favorite bullying victim
too, particularly at the office where the creature can’t escape. In
increasingly matriarchal workplaces around the country, alpha females are the
managers and sadists-in-chief. Men in the office traditionally stood up for the
alpha bitches’ favorite punching bags to some degree. But with men
disempowered, there’s nothing to protect shy women from being predated on
endlessly. God help you if you’re good-looking. Or smart, or dating someone, or
have anything going for you at all that they might want…
I for one am absolutely through with it. After a lifetime of
curling into a ball, saying “Yes, M’am,” and praying for the release of sweet
death, I have been used as a human punching balloon by one too many proud
Beta females: It may go against our nature. It may go
against our aesthetics. Hell, it may even go against our principles. But it’s
time to stand up and show that buried under all that silky fur, we still have
claws and fangs.
Right now we have the element of surprise on our side: They
have no idea it’s coming.
Punch an alpha bitch in the face today, hon. Go on, make a
fist. Take a kickboxing class. Learn some game theory. It’s the only way to keep
them from ravaging the face of world culture like a plague of locusts in
Scream at a bitch. Learn to manipulate her back. Most of
them are extreme narcissists, so flatter them into doing exactly what you want
them to do. Don’t be scared: they may shout and insinuate and guilt trip people
constantly, but they’re really only morons with overinflated egos.
If that doesn’t work, figure out a way to get them where
they live. You know you can do it. You’re probably bookish and thoughtful. And you’ve been watching them from the
shadows all your life.
If anyone can save the world from them, it’s us.
Update: Rachel Haywire got her blog back to "normal." But here's the link to a mirror of my tell-all on Matt Forney's blog: