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Saturday, March 28, 2009

Is this going to be a running gag? That'll require at least two more reps.

I was getting curious, so I googled:

1,270 hits for "Slick Bill" in quotes;

11,000 for "Slick Barry" in quotes.

1,530, 000 for a general search on Slick Clinton;

1,910,000 for Slick Obama.

Just as I suspected: recycled uses now top virgin taunts. Christ, even the epithet-manufacturing industry is in a recession! There are even Web pages where people giggle about how Obama is supposed to look like Curious George. Hang on... hadn't we already decided George Bush looked like Curious George? AND HIS NAME IS GEORGE, DON'T YOU GET IT? DUH!

Cuz it's all about names, right? Some of the articles on Slick Barry boil down to this: WHAT IS HIS NAME, MAN? WHAT'S HIS REEEEAL NAME? HE USED TO BE BARRY! NOW HE'S BARACK! OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

Is that why Bill was slick, too? Because his real name is William BUT HE ASKED US TO CALL HIM BILL???? That HORSE-FUCKER! I guess this means my cousin Frank, who was known as Frankie when he was a kid, is in on the plot. He did just shave his head, I guess. Then again, he shaved it for some children's charity thing that I was too cheap to shell out for. But I could definitely see him conspiring to... oh, I dunno, to recycle stuff. But not jokes. FRANKIE WOULD NEVER RECYCLE A JOKE. THAT IS STRICTLY FOR COMMIES. Oh wait, "Slick Billarry" (OH MY GOD! BARRY AND HILARY HAVE THE SAME TWO LAST LETTERS! HELP! HELP!) is coming from the right, not the left... HANG ON! IF YOU HATE COMMUNISM, THEN WHY ARE YOU RECYCLING? WE KNEW YOU WERE ALL MIAMA CUBANS! DOUBLE AGENCY! DOUBLE AGENCY! CURSES!

I'm not sure whether this is I find this highly entertaining because it's so absurdly weak-assed, or highly dull because it's so repetitive. C'mon, right-wing nut jobs. You can do better than that. People depend on you for original laffs. I like wordplay myself, but just repeating crap isn't wordplay, it's an OCD. Bo-ring!

A ray of hope: I did recently read an anonymous blog post claiming that Obama is an alien and that he caused the tsunami. YES! Whoever that wingnut is, I salute heshit! Absurdity with substance! The rest of you need to get in line. You all sound like fuggin' Foucault! And if that ain't a commie name, I don't know what is.

But seriously, folks: Mayhap they are avoiding insane claims of would-be substance because they're afraid they'll go to jail. Check out this post on the Hoover Hog web site if you would be curious re: the mystery of the missing wingnuts.

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